I am going to Yoga.  A new studio opened on Main Street- same place there  was one before but it had bad vibes so it closed and new one opened.  Don’t remind me – I tried karate this year too.  I stuck with it for about 2 weeks and I might have kept going if it weren’t for that day that I ran out of gas a half a mile from home on my way to karate, missed the class and never went back.

I thought I loved that too, but I think it was just an abnormal adrenaline rush and  then I realized that I hated it because there were other people there.

I love the owner and trainers at that particular karate place  and in fact Max goes there too. They have been open to him coming and very accommodating.   But, there is this part of karate that requires you to partner up with another person, a total stranger and beat them up.  When you are not beating them up, they get to beat you up.  I don’t like big strong strangers and I don’t like their sweat touching me.  It was completely not fun to hold sweaty bags and gloves and let people twice my size punch me.  I loved the kicking and punching when I was alone, but there is no way I am going to participate in improving someone else’s physical fitness in the 20 seconds I have to myself.  No way!

Now, I am alone on my nice yoga mat and I am happy.  I am actually pretty good at it for a beginner and I love the teachers who smell good and wear necklaces.  Although, there are a few barriers to my total state of meditated ( I didn’t say medicated) bliss.  I keep thinking negative thoughts about my feet.  See, I am fortunate enough to have the requisite $200 Ugg boots and I have been wearing them everyday for months and they have turned my feet black.  Now, I take tons of showers, use a bunch of beauty products and attend to my “personal care” regularly and expensively… but, I cannot get my feet to go back to their original color. 

So… I go to yoga and I am there, barefoot, with several other members of my community whom I now represent in local government.  What if they see my feet and think I am gross?   This is what I am thinking about.

I am also wondering how I can go to the classes and look like someone who has been doing yoga forever and therefore have already achieved some state of personal health, well being and balance instead of the crazy woman who eats too many cheese balls, hasn’t exercised in the last 30 years and has deformed feet?  

I recognize that were I actually someone who had achieved some state of personal health, well being and balance, I might not be trying to pretend I  look like someone who has.  I was just thinking that these are qualities I would love to have but doubt I will since the best part of the class is at the end when I get to sleep on the mat with a blanket over me and my head on a pillow. Now this is exercise I can enjoy!

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