Yes, I am a &*%^&$ control freak…
- Posted on July 1, 2011
- in Cerebral Palsy, Disabled Children, Parenting
- by sheri
I like things to be a certain way. I like the silly little things to be right because I believe that if they are in order, the big things will work themselves out. I must make the beds everyday, put things in certain places, organize the linen closet, frequently change the shower curtain, polish the silver no one sees, and have the flip-flops near the front door. If I don’t put the swim club badges in the right place at the end of the summer, winter will surely be doomed.
But, I am not really a neat freak and I am not particularly regimented. However, if I can just make sure the pillows are nice and neat, nothing bad will happen to us. In one week, I will be leaving my home and my husband to go 13 hours away with Max. I have been planning this trip since last July so that he can go to a therapy camp for kids with CP in Michigan. We are spending money that might not really exist and I am separating our family for a long time. I am essentially ditching Sophie for several weeks when she returns from camp despite how much I miss her already. Why? The camp teaches Conductive Education and if Max will ever progress from where he is now, I think this is the only way. I have been convinced that nothing but body work for more than a month will help him learn to walk. But what if it doesn’t?
What if all of this is for nothing? What if it is a giant expensive hoax and I am a big stupid sucker? I have no way of knowing… I have no guarantees and my hope is wearing thin. He was doing better than he is now a few months ago and those precious few days when he seemed like he might be walking without his walker were fleeting. I am basically praying for a Michigan miracle. And, so all I can do is keep organizing every single drawer, every closet, alphabetize the spices and put the toothbrushes in size order. If the little things are in place before I leave, just maybe we can get big thing to shine down upon us… please.
Good luck on your journey! Here’s to hope in Michigan.
Thanks so much… we are here and trying our best.
Good luck on your journey. Here’s to hope in Michigan, and forever!