Land of the Feet People

Let me begin by saying that I feel a bit guilty that I only write about Max.  Of course, there is always Sophie and Hun and all the rest of the folks I love… but somehow they rarely get a part in this show.  I concluded over my first of many cups of coffee for the day (and for the record, I do realize that I have a serious coffee problem that needs to be controlled very soon!) that this inequity will just have to be ok.  He gets the short end of the stick in most places, so why not let him have a starring role in an ongoing dramedy about his life of which he knows nothing.

Yesterday, during our Monday night date to McDonald’s; and yes, we go to McDonald’s. We love McDonald’s.  McDonald’s exists in a kosher-free bubble.  Anything that can be eaten in McDonald’s is kosher, as long as it is consumed within the confines of the pseudo-hip, free wi-fi, newly decorated Mickey D’ s in a town where we don’t see anyone we know.  Max has loved it since the very first chicken nugget 4 years ago – which incidentally was the first actual restaurant food he ever ate – after months of feeding therapy and learning how to finally chew.  I  just love it because I am really just a trash-eating freak.

We actually walked to the restaurant from the car just holding hands. Again, the miraculous spectacle of progress at work.   However, because Max has spent his entire life with equipment, we have to learn how to actually exist without it.  Last night, I declared the new world, “the Land of the Feet People.”  Max realized quickly that he cannot let go of my hand.  The result is a warm introduction of Max, meet my friend floor/floor, meet my friend  Max.   He is used to wandering around in his walker, going here and there and frequently just running away from me as fast as he can.  Yesterday he wanted to stare longingly at the plastic Batman toys in the life-size display while I ordered our greasy food in a box.  Clearly, this cannot happen.  While I have often wished for nothing more, my arms do not reach across the entire restaurant.  For Max to be able to gaze at the toys, I too need to gaze at the stupid toys I will throw away tomorrow.

“Max, we have to stay together now, we are feet people.  People who walk with their feet need to keep their feet on the ground at all times. We have to figure this out.  If I order our food, you have to come with me.”  To which Max replied, ” Ok, lets figure this out!”

“So, let’s pretend we live in a new country called Foot-dom. Most people in Foot-dom use feet to get around. Do you see other people lying on the floor? No?  Well, therefore you cannot lie on the floor either.  To keep you off the floor, you have to hold my hand or hold on to something else.”

Ahhh, no problem.  He quickly moved away from plastic-toy heaven and walked with me to the counter, held on to the counter while I paid for our whatever-you -call-the-stuff we eat there, and all was good.  Progress is slow, and we cannot expect perfection, so while I was paying, he did stick his finger into the gigantic vanilla ice-cream shake a lovely and very pregnant woman was ordering next to us…

She was too pregnant to care so I grabbed my boy by the hand and ran!

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