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I am writing for the first time in a million years because I have so much on my mind… it’s all Max all the time. Yesterday, I concluded that I have a 7-year-old, 2-year-old – but mind you, not in a bad way. Max has been somewhat asleep at the wheel for most of his life. He has been around the block, so to speak, but more as if he were watching life on TV, than actually living it.
He has made enormous strides ( get it, strides?) in the past year and is actually able to walk a bit with just my hand holding his. I have dreamed of this moment for years. I have imagined it, wished for it, and cried tears over it. He cannot stand alone and he cannot walk unassisted, but for the first time in his life, he can step without a piece of metal equipment attached to him.
Yesterday, I was feeling brave and strong and walked with him in the local market. He held my hand and sometimes the shopping cart and we walked through the store. I have shopped with Max a million times, but he has never been out of his “cage.” He was like a 2-year-old. He touched everything in the store, took a bite of an apple and put it back, and tried to steal a candy bar. He begged to “help” me put the groceries on the conveyor belt as I juggled everything so as to not to let him fall. I tried to keep his behavior somewhat reasonable but ended up talking to him like he was an overgrown toddler. “Max, don’t lick the broccoli.” ” No, you can’t play with that.” ” Did you just put the candy bar in your pocket?”
I actually thought that the people around me might be saying that he is the worst behaved boy they have ever seen. I was embarrassed momentarily, but then I realized that my dreams for him are coming true. He is making progress and he is out in the world – almost walking.
It was the greatest joy you can imagine. I ended up buying a crazy mix of things and hardly anything I needed, but who cares… I can always go back tomorrow!