All right, I get it

As always, an absence from this blog means that I am too busy to write about the things that make me so busy- or, the much more sinister word thief- myself.

I am trying to write a lecture that needs to be taught tomorrow about the parol evidence rule and it has to  be the most painful, boring topic ever invented; and therefore, ripe for a million distractions such as the articles about celebrities and a sudden interest in a British divorce case about tuna fish. However, feel compelled to come clean about something that has been painful and distracting of late.

My mom … in the course of a month or two has disappeared.  Her quirky forgetfulness and confusion has become a complete and total loss of functioning.  She cannot remember what day it is, where she is going, what she is doing, and what we are talking about.  She manages for about fifteen minutes at a time, but then is mess again.  The doctors have not identified any major event and I cannot really convince the nurses that she isn’t the same.  I am alone in my diagnosis and, as always, essentially alone in caring. 

There isn’t anything that can be done…I continue to call and visit and take her out- but I wonder how long that will last.  She came to my house for a Seder Friday night, but by today doesn’t really remember much about it. 

The cause or trajectory is really not all that important and the details are, I am sure, not unique. However, I am feeling sorry for her … and for me.  Would it have been too much to ask to be allowed to avoid this one minefield? Wasn’t it enough to have to witness her decline, watch her money and independence run out and have to put her in a nursing home two years ago because of physical limitations? I have already experienced every one of the pitfalls and challenges that come with aging parents being the only ingredient in my own personal “sandwich” generation.  I get it.  It sucks… I don’t need more convincing.

What exactly is the plan here?

2 Responses so far.

  1. Anonymous says:

    unfortunately i have experience is this arena. It is happening right now, as we speak. He is also currently in a “facility”. My father doesn’t retain most information. He is hallucinating. example…………..”last night your sister was here with two men at 1:30am. AND they had a dog with them!” this type of thing is a typical conversation of late. Then………….and often during these inane conversations, he is completely (acting and sounding) like himself. We report his confusion, hallucinations, etc to his “assigned” doctor and he says nothing. NOTHING. It is nothing, he is find. He does not have dementia, hasn’t had a stroke, etc etc. the usual suspects that would be to blame for these actions. I have been told numerous times about something called “hospital induced psychosis”. Lovely term, right? It was explained to me that older adults that are in either a hospital, nursing home, etc may at like this at any time. and that it will come and go.
    Wonderful news…………not so much. Comforting words………….not so much. Actually happening as we speak…………….100%. Sadly is was my birthday yesterday and my dad did not know it was and I was not going to mention it. I am not a Birthday crazed person but…………your own parents remember their child’s birthday………don’t they………..? I guess not if they are currently considered “psychotic”.

    So………to you………….Ms Blogger……………….It’s real and it sucks

    • wearingcostumes says:

      Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I have seen and heard everything you mention. Happy Birthday to you anyway…

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