Where does one find words?
Months ago, I wrote, and I wrote, and I wrote and then I stopped writing. It was never going to be a permanent condition – the stopping of the writing- but it is just that way sometimes. I never know when the last writing will happen just like I never know when it will pick up again. I actually didn’t realize I had stopped until someone I love just asked why I haven’t written.
A book I once read, by an author I like but can’t remember, wrote about how you never know when the last time for anything will be. Even absent death or loss, we sometimes stop doing what we do and we sometimes, regrettably, even stop seeing people we want to see. I never planned to stop writing but I just stopped thinking and now I am going to start thinking again. There were reasons I stopped thinking because sometimes there are things you just don’t want to think about, but I don’t feel that way anymore, so here I am.
Much has happened in the last few months – and for the first time in a while – almost all good. I have not felt this way in years… years…lots of years. Lots and lots of years. Max is doing great and school is terrific. The horrors ( and I do not use that word lightly) of last year are behind us. His recent surgery was low drama and he seems strong and healthy. There are demons and challenges, but they are not bringing him too far down. Sophie is doing what all 7th grade girls should be doing… growing up fast and fierce with her Bat Mitzvah only months away… Hun works 5 minutes from home and can help with the kids in a way I never dreamed possible. My own health has finally improved and my skinny jeans are back in the rotation. Charlie, the new pup, has joined the family and while she sees fit to destroy most things in her path, I will never be without a dog again. She brings light and joy to all of us.
I wouldn’t be a good Jewish girl if I didn’t follow all that “kvelling” with a strong “poo-poo” and if you don’t know what that means, it translates to “don’t give yourself too much of a shout-out, or the evil eye will shine upon you.” If I don’t take it too far, maybe I can tempt fate just this once.