Some evidence of madness here…


So… I am running for office.  I feel the need to often say that as an explanation for my behavior.  I am suddenly slightly public as evidenced by the 175 lawn signs in my town advertising my name.  That being said, I have not actually altered my self in any way as a result.  I think I am the least shiny, polished, least slick politician in New Jersey.  I have no hidden agenda, I have not received any plain white envelopes in diners nor do I have a cartel of any type.  I am as plain as vanilla yogurt.  The only that has changed is that I do give a slight bit more thought to my appearance when I venture into town.  A few days ago I colored my hair.  I have been doing this mundane task for about 15 or more years.  I have been doing it for so long, no one even knows what I used to look like.

I do it because it is cheap, fast and I don’t need to make an appointment with myself.  However, I occasionally mess up.  It seems as though my hair has changed ( with age…gasp!)  and the same few colors I have always used look terrible. I have messed up so many times, I even know how to fix it.  One might suggest at this point to get off my lazy cheap ass and go to the salon…

Not having taken that advice last week, I needed to run to the drug store to get the “fix” color.  It was a Monday morning.  I needed to do this ASAP so I could go to a meeting in the afternoon looking like myself and not Lucille Ball.  Needless to say, I never go anywhere without meeting someone I know. So… in my efforts to be surreptitious, I donned a hooded sweatshirt ( which would be called a “hoodie” if it weren’t being worn by a 42-year-old) a  hat, a scarf and sunglasses. I actually went to the store dressed like an idiot so that I wouldn’t be seen looking like an idiot.  How idiotic is that?

The thing is, my car is plastered with magnets with my name, my daughter’s gymnastics club, my tell tale dents and scratches as well as the never too obvious “Universal Symbol for Disabled People.”

Now, instead of running into someone with hair that I thought looked bad, I ran away from god knows how many people who clearly knew who I was while wearing a disguise! 

This is obviously why movie stars go crazy…

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